Tuesday, October 25, 2011

This baby really needs a name.

I'll admit, I'm picky when it comes to names. I'll spend days trying to come up with the perfect name for a dog that has a lifespan of 12-16years and doesn't really care what you call it, so naming a human child is a huge ordeal for me.

In case you need proof, here are my general naming guidelines 1-5 are musts, the rest are a little more flexible:

1. No common names or names that are likely to be common in the next year or two. I don't want my kid to have to have "S." tacked on the end of his name for the rest of his life just so everyone knows they're talking to/about him. My guess is that "Bella" and "Edward" fall in this category.

2. No weird or easy to make fun of names. Unusual is okay, but nothing that requires having to spell it fifty times and still have people get it wrong.

3. No Biblical names, because they all seem to fall into category 1 or 2.

4. No names with negative connotations. For example, I will not be chasing around after little Caligula or Adolf.

5. No ancestor names (unless the name is really, really cool and the ancestor is long deceased). I don't want my son to feel he has to live up to a name or otherwise be influenced by his namesake.

6. Ideally the name should be three syllables. I recently realized that Finn, Chris and I all have three syllable first names, so it would be fun to continue the trend. If that fails, the name must be at least 2 syllables to fit nicely with our last name.

7. It would be nice if the name has a nickname that I don't hate. Certain nicknames will get the name eliminated.

8. Ancestry wise, the biggest contributors to this child in no particular order are French, Irish, German, Native American, English and, of course, U. S. American. I'm comfortable being a little more adventurous in those categories of names. I would prefer something other than an Irish name, though, because "Finnian" is Irish, and it might be nice to have a little variety. Plus, Irish names are trendy now, and two of the Irish boy names I like are already taken by friends' kids. But, if we like it and it meets the other requirements, I'll take it.

Whew! I think that's it. And, assuming this baby waits the whole nine months like his big brother, we only have about four months to find the perfect name. In the meantime, I've been referring to the baby by phrases such as "the unnamed baby."

This didn't bother me that much until Sunday morning when Finn woke up extra early. I managed to get him to go back to bed, but as soon as I tried to go back to sleep the baby decided it was time to have a dance party. I turned to Chris and said, "I got Finn back to bed, but the one who shall not be named seems to be wide awake." As soon as I said it, the full meaning of what I said hit me and I started laughing like crazy. I had to explain that was what Lord Voldemort was called in Harry Potter.

Chris's response? "Well, Voldemort has three syllables..."

So, as you can see, we really need to find a suitable name for this child, because I do not really want to be the mother of the Dark Lord.